In Defense of Fruitcake

Christmas fruitcake humor. In defense of fruitcake.
A funny look at fruitcake According to information gleaned from the web, the majority of Americans feel that fruitcake is best used as a doorstop, as a gift for someone else or as land fill (the opinion of the majority). However, we at Party411 are coming to the defense of fruitcake due to its rich history (and rich ingredients), it's long life and the fact that because of fruitcake (more sustenance in one cake than any one food group), we have won wars and conquered enemies! Yeah, that's right.

It all started with the Romans (sustaining their army in faraway lands), and just like Rome, a good fruitcake is not built in a day nor does it last just a day. From Rome, fruitcake took Europe by storm. In fact, it was law that the serving of fruitcake (also known as plum cake) was limited to certain holidays and only the most important milestones (e.g., weddings and funerals). It was on her birthday one year that Queen Victoria started the tradition of putting it aside to practice "restraint, moderation and good taste," eating it a year later. Go figure.

On the other hand, unlike the Queen, we're not so keen on the eating part. However, a Christmas without fruitcake is like a presidential election without a president--unfulfilling. So, when your well-meaning friends send you a fruitcake, try these ideas to show them off (and then you never have to swallow a bite).

Using a giant fruitcake that you made or bought (and no matter whether it's rectangular or round), put it center table on a bed of holly and evergreen branches with pinecones scattered as confetti. Delightful.

Votive Candle Holder
Take the fruitcake out of its container and make holes big enough to hold votive candles. Or just shove them in-who's to know?! Isn't this a great idea?

Guest Towel Holder
Take two fruitcakes, lay them side by side about 4" apart and insert popsicle sticks to make it a holder for your favorite guest towels. Decoupage if you feel up to it.

Knife Rest
Cut the fruitcake into 2x1" rectangles and put one at each place as a knife rest…your guests will marvel at your creativity.

Place Card Holder
Again, cut the fruitcake into rectangles and make a small groove in the top to hold a business card size placecard. Placecards with holly and mistletoe are easily found at your local stationery store. Coat with polyurethane so you can use year after year.

Holiday Door Knocker
You may think this is difficult but it's not. Super glue a hinge to the bottom of the fruitcake near the top, use removable double stick tape to attach the back of the hinge to your door. Let's hope they are not from the school of hard knocks.

Punch Hole Ring
Take your fruitcake, freeze it in a block of ice and throw it in your punch bowl for an unusual yet attractive garnish.

No explanation needed.

So, don't worry if your husband's boss brings a fruitcake to your Christmas Open House this year. Just march in the kitchen and make it into something wonderful! Imagine his surprise when he sees it on display in your guest lavatory holding a Glade refill!

Happy Holidays.
The Party Girl at